Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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