So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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