i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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