Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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