I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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