we have officially lost it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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