he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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