Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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