I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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