I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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