WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize