just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize