I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize