I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize