Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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