well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize