If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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