so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize