The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you win again, gameday.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The air taste purple.
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