Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
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Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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