Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize