I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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