I got chris browned last night
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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