it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize