I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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