some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize