is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize