You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
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The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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