I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize