It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize