I hate all girls vehemently.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize