So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize