CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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