The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
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How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
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I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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