Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize