my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize