We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
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Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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