I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think my fart just growled at me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize