I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
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it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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