Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize