what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize