Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
there is puke in my bra ... again
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