I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize