I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize