is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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