I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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