Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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