I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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