I wish I could teleport
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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