she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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